In The End
by SilentPatronus
Summary: My take on the spoilers. What I want to happen.


**A little fanfic based on the spoilers.**

* * *

He ran into the clinic as fast as his legs would carry him crashing into the reception desk he slammed his hands down to prevent significant damage. He started speaking but was unable to form proper words. His breathing was heavy and this mixed with extreme fear was not a good sign. There was no time to take a moment and gain composure. This time he made sure his words were easily understood.

"Appointment under Jac Naylor." His voice high pitched, nervous. The words rushed from his lips and he surprised himself with the ability to form a sentence. He anxiously waited the response and expecting to be told to wait he planned his emergency run through the clinic. It really was his last resort.

"You've just missed her, she left a few minutes ago." The receptionist appeared rather apologetic but there was no point because Jonny blanked out her words. Immediately his hands rose to his head and he buried it down. Anger boiling in his blood and tears threatening to fall he kept his eyes firmly on the ground as he made his way out as quickly as possible._ She _had done this. _She _had caused it. He thought he'd made it clear that he was there for her, that he wanted their baby girl. He thought he could cope with her decision but he couldn't. Sure there would be other chances but this was the one. This was special because it was with _her_. Jac Naylor. That woman infuriated so much that her presence alone made him want to scream, to run, to hide. There was something about her though, something, that despite everything that drew him to her. This time it was too far. Now, whenever he will face her at work he would have to cope with everything that he'd lost, everything he almost had and he could never do that again. This time it was over.

He ignored his surroundings and headed straight for his car. He knew where he was going. He needed to speak to Mo. She's the only one that is able to calm him down in these situations. The only person who has been there for him every single time he's needed her, his best friend.

The car was cold and the air was damp yet still he was sweating despite having removed his jacket and now sat behind the wheel of the car in a t-shirt. He was in shock. He really had wanted this but it was he who had let Jac make the decision. It was he who had accepted it when he could have told her how he truly felt although he knew she knew. He'd told her so many times. He'd been so excited.

The car journey was the slowest it had ever been; the traffic lights turned red at every available opportunity and several accidents on the road created a diversion, which zigzagged across town. He had time to think, time he didn't want or need right now. He'd think too much, he'd fail to concentrate on the road if he's not careful. He couldn't lose control, like Jac.

The engine was turned off and he found himself staring ahead at the building in front of him. She was probably in there right now acting as if nothing had happened. She was probably ripping into a patient and pretending not to care about anything. He was sure that it was no pretence. Although he'd seen glimpses of the real Naylor he was now convinced it was an illusion. This woman couldn't love.

He exited his car slamming it with all the strength he had left. He stalked off towards the building reaching the entrance before wondering whether he could go in. Would the memories in there be too much? The memories of the scan that he performed on Darwin, or when he went to maternity with Jac and spoke to the baby or that dreaded 20 week scan. It was all too much. He stood there for a moment as children walked in and out of the building, none his.

He couldn't do it and instead found himself walking round the grounds of the hospital, avoiding going inside. It wasn't long until he found himself seated on a chair in the peace garden. There was a time he remembered, where he'd asked Jac to move in with him. In his mind he'd planned it all, the wedding, the kids, even their names. He never told Jac this though. His head fixated on the floor he was tempted to text Mo, ask her to meet him, but she was still on shift and that wasn't fair. He'd wait here.

Moments later he felt the shadow of another person sit down beside him. He didn't look up. He hoped that if he ignored them, they'd go away. He didn't want to talk to anyone.

"I was twelve when my mother left." It was her. What she was doing here he didn't know. How she'd found him. He ignored her. His eyes didn't move from their fixed location. He didn't want to look at her and see just her. Alone. No bump, no baby. He wanted to scream at her to go away, to shut up, to ask her why. Why she was here, why she was talking to him, and why she did what she did. But she continued.

"Twelve Jonny. I had no one." He could hear the uneasiness in her voice. She was opening up, the one thing he'd wanted her to do but it was too late. He wouldn't tell her this of course, just like she didn't tell him when and where. "I vowed then I never wanted children. I never wanted them to go through what I went through. What kind of mother just leaves their child and never comes back?" She sighed. He heard it. "I would have made the worst parent. Proof is in my mother."

He didn't respond. He was listening but sat there silently. It wasn't long until he heard her whisper. "I couldn't do it." She repeated: "I couldn't do it." But this time Jonny wasn't listening to her words. He blocked them out and the next minute he found her grabbing his hand and before he could respond she slipped it up her scrub top. The bump was still there. He was sure she was tricking him, trying to make him feel bad.

He tilted his head up for the first time in the conversation and spoke but found he was unable to form proper words. "Wha.. why…" His eyes moved towards the bump. It was still there. His baby was still alive. She hadn't gone through with it.

"This," Jac said nodding to her bump, "is your baby. I want her to have a father." She sounded disappointed. "I never had one and that's not going to be the same for her. I want you to step up Jonny. I don't give a damn about the reasons why you wanted me to… terminate it's not happening so deal with it." Jac was firm. She 'd said what she'd needed to, clearly, and stood up to leave.

Jonny grabbed hold of her arm causing her to turn around and face him. He was confused and shocked. "You don't think I want our child?"

She nodded. "Seems that way."

"Jac, I've been halfway across town to the clinic to get there and find that you'd already left. I was trying to stop you from going through with it. I want our child more than anything."

"You know it's fifty-fifty," was all she could manage. His hopes had been raised again and she didn't want them to be for nothing. She was scared and this was the first time she'd shown a true glimpse of it to him.

"Jac she has the best chance of survival because you're her mother."

"Don't be so pathetic."

"I'm serious." He stood there for a moment looking into her eyes. "We're going to do this together Jac and it our girl will be so lucky Jac. You don't have to worry because I'm not going anywhere."

"I was not worried."

"I can see it in your eyes. You think you're going to mess it up. You think you've already messed everything up."

"Since when did you become a mind reader?" Her voice was a mere whisper.

"So I'm not wrong?" He asked. He'd taken a punt. A guess from what Mo had already told him. He had assumed for a while but assumed she needed space, he now knew he couldn't have been more wrong.

"Does it matter?"

"To me, yes." He stood up as he said this so he was directly facing her. "Our child is not the only reason I'm here Jac. I thought that was obvious."

For a moment, earlier today, he thought he hated her so much. He thought she'd taken everything from him and taken away ever reason he had to be happy. He despised the fact that despite all of that he loved her but he was convinced he'd never forgive her. Now, he'd realised that she was more vulnerable than she'd ever made out, that all along she'd needed him and all along she'd wanted this child. Silently she had admitted she needed him and that was enough to convince him. He didn't have to think twice when he leaned in and kissed her before bringing his arms around her and letting her fall into his chest.


End file.
